Star-crossed
by Dax Farroh
Summary: A collection of one-shots following Rey and Kylo Ren after TLJ. (Not in chronological order)
1. Chapter 1

She stared at the ceiling, her mind running in useless circles. Although her room had been prepared for with plumes of flowers and freshly turned down sheets, she hadn't even bothered to confirm what she already knew: that blaster-proof door was locked from the outside.

They had loved her, once - called her their hope. The last Jedi. They used to whisper about her amongst themselves, spreading tall tales of heroic feats. Now, they still whispered, but not in reverence. No, now it was questions and doubts and inconceivable rumors that the more steadfast souls adamantly denounced.

It was worse to hear them defend her, because a few of those rumors were true. And although she didn't think of them as sins, exactly, she knew with every fiber of her being that she had done things that were subversive to everything and everyone she thought she knew - thought she loved - only a few short months ago.

As she lay here now with her head spinning, she could not be sure what sin was or if it even existed. If it did exist and was as immutable as some believed it to be, well then she was as good as dead to the Light. She should have gone up in flames along with the Jedi temple.

She never was a Jedi - let alone the last. The only one who could bear that title was locked up somewhere else on this ship, suffering at the hands of justice. Although he was shielding her from this, she could feel the vibrations of his pain through the Bond.

God help her, she could always feel him. He was dark as deep space. But also like that realm of the unknown, he kept going and going. The more she looked, the more she found. He was power; he was danger; he was passion and he could love - immeasurably - of this she was sure. He was everything. And although he still scared her sometimes while in the wilderness of his wrath, he was hers - undoubtedly.

And as her hand rested over the flicker of him that grew inside her, she was Rey. Just Rey, scavenger of Jakku. She was nothing but her quick mind, her even quicker body and the Force that fueled it, and a hope - a hope that burned eternal for someone to call her own.

She was nothing, but it was enough. Because for the first time in her life, she had found someone who thought she was somebody - not a weapon or a means to an end, but someone's end worth fighting for.

She was Rey of Jakku, and she was going to find a way out.

* * *

"Rey?" He had felt her presence but was unsure as he squinted through the darkness. "Is it you?"

"Yes."

"Come here." He had been working on using a different, less commanding tone with her, but he had to admit the last few hours had worn him down. Like many times before, he wished he had his mask. As she crossed the cell to sit beside him in a few wary steps, he composed himself in the Force.

"You look terrible," she said without jest as she explored his battered visage and torso with unreasonably sad eyes. "Did they torture you?"

"Not very well," he scoffed, managing a smirk.

The back of his head was resting against the unforgiving wall and he could still barely see her between the dark, his hanging hair, and his half-shut eyes. Everything hurt, but he knew what he had to do.

"That charlatan wouldn't last a minute on Starkiller Base."

He awaited her usual rebuttal but didn't get one, so he turned his head painfully to really look at her, only to find tears streaming down her cheeks in earnest. He could take on just about anything or anybody, but this, he could never take.

"Hey," he took her face in one hand and held her eyes with his. "Stop that. ... It's okay."

"No, _you_ stop," she pushed back, suddenly indignant. She arrested his hand from its task of wiping her tears and pulled it toward her stomach. He wasn't sure if this was intentional or some act of the subconscious.

"It's not okay," she spoke fervently, wet eyes shining.

"But it is," he said with forced simplicity and a shrug. "I deserve this. I deserve to die tomorrow. You know that - you know _me_."

"That is _not_ true, Ben Solo!" She was fierce now and fighting her climbing voice. "If you say that - if you believe it - it means that all we have is wrong. That all I've _given you_ is wrong!" Her hands held his flat against her warm belly. "I refuse to believe that you - we - _this_ \- is bad! I will not apologize for believing in you, Ben. Not ever!"

Ben never knew how to deal with the deep seated discomfort that her impassioned speeches caused him when he was the subject. He had hoped that, someday, he would break through a few of his chains and be able to reciprocate, to give her what she so wanted and deserved. Now, he knew there would not be time. His whole life had been spent backing further and further into a corner, beaten down by those he once trusted until he'd become a raging, feral thing.

In the fleeting moments spent with Rey, he could only imagine a future growing old with her, and by the end of that future he was quite tamed - a different man. A better man.

Yet, he always knew it was a dream. He had done far too much and still not enough, and, at last, it was too late. Rey didn't deserve this end, but he did. No matter what she told him, he knew it to be true. He could bask in her light until his dying breath, but it would never be enough to redeem him.

Ben had no desire to explain all this too her now, nor did he have the strength to supply any equivalent words of passion, so he diverted her attention.

"You know, if you'd have kept it together back at the hangar, we wouldn't be in this mess." He immediately regretted his words as the beautiful ire fell from her face. He tried more gently: "You should have listened to me, for once."

It was true that a deep rage moved within him as he remembered the string of unfortunate events that was yesterday. Well, all but one event - _that_ had been the most singular moment of his life: he and Rey, flying away. They had left everything they'd ever built to crumble; years of fighting, toil, and pain - thrown it all down like a saber on the floor. He'd realized in that moment that he had never before known freedom, only because he knew it right then.

But, of course, it was over quickly. ...

 _The dogfight could have lasted forever: they were grossly outnumbered by X wings that refused to fire a fatal shot. When there was, at last, a severe blow delivered accidently (or on purpose) by a frustrated pilot, it rattled the TIE fighter and rattled some sense into Ben. He looked at Rey, her eyes full of hope, as always, and knew she would never give up. For the first time, he knew what he had to do._

 _He called it. She had no say in the matter. And as they were towed to the rebel ship, he remained steady through her verbal and physical blows in convincing her of what she needed to do. By the time they had docked, against all odds, she had agreed._

 _It was a glorious fight - it truly was. He gave it everything, because he believed it to be his last, and because Rey was watching, safely in the arms of that scoundrel Poe. He hated this ending, and he was going to take as much rebel scum with him as he could to prove that point._

 _Considering their numbers, it was easy - for a while - dropping body after body that came his way. He was literally seeing red, so delicious was the dark. But then he took a shot to the shoulder, and then another, and the tables began to turn. He was submitting now to his fate. His body was still fighting - it wouldn't stop until he was stone dead - but his mind and spirit were ready._

 _He thought of Rey and reached for the Light._

 _But then something was wrong. She was screaming. It was primal and frankly terrifying. He looked just in time to watch her rake through rebel after rebel, cast in the unearthly green glow of her blade. He knew it was wrong - that it would ruin everything. He even hated her for it. Yet, it would be such a sweet death, fighting alongside this woman. She was truly magnificent in her fury._

 _His eyes never left her until they saw no more. ..._

"I know this was my fault," Rey spoke with sincerity, after a pause. "I failed you."

"That's not what I -"

"After all your training, I still failed you. It won't happen again." Her promise was delivered with an intensity that made him uneasy. Following a gut feeling, he examined her more closely and noticed the lightsaber strapped to her side.

"Rey," he probed cautiously. "How are you here?"

God, her face was always so easy to read. He would miss this, too. Right now, it was very sheepish and a little bit proud.

"Is this the Bond?" he pressed when she didn't answer him.

"No," she replied, suddenly meek under his prying gaze.

"Are you a doppelganger?" He had not known that she was capable of pulling something like this off, but he wasn't surprised. She'd surprised him too many times already with her seemingly boundless abilities.

"I don't know. Maybe," she said, entirely unsure.

"You're not."

"What do you mean?"

"You've been holding my hand all this time. You're not a doppelganger."

"Oh."

"Then what are you?" He was genuinely curious now. She wasn't dark enough to create a Force Phantom - he was quite sure of that. He tried another approach: "How did you get here?"

Rey frowned. "I don't know, really. I just sort of closed my eyes, and I focused everything on you. … And then, I was here."

Could it be that this was something completely new? he wondered. Had she really developed an entirely new form of astral projection just by thinking about him? She never ceased to amaze him.

Then suddenly, his intrigue was clouded with concern. He remembered Luke after Crait and how he had simply disappeared from the Force.

"How do you feel?" he pressed, gaining back his intensity for the first time this evening.

"I feel like. … like I'm _here_. Completely. I can sense my body back in my room, but it feels very far away." A sliver of fear entered her voice. "I - I'm not sure I could get back if I tried. … Ben, ever since we - well, you know - ever since then, I've felt a new energy inside me. It's this power - it's getting stronger every day. ... I don't know what it is, or if it's good or bad, but I can do things I don't understand. Things no one would understand."

Ben took this information and filed it away for another day, if he ever saw one.

"Rey," He did his best attempt at gentle yet authoritative. "You need to go."

Apparently, he failed, because she smiled back at him in response. It was a smile dripping with mischief. "Do you really think I would project all this way _in corporal form_ just to give you a goodbye kiss?"

"No," he resigned.

"Now when I scream, they'll come running. You do what you can with the Force, and I'll do the rest." She stood up, lit her saber and drove it into the wall, proving beyond doubt that the weapon was far more than a projection. Her grin widened almost madly in the glow of flying sparks.

"That's enough!" he commanded over the grinding noise of light against metal. "Put it away before they hear you."

" _Seriously?_ " she shut off the blade and placed a hand condescendingly on her hip while she stood over his rather pathetic form. "I know you're in pain, Ben, and you're tired. But you can pull it together for one last fight. The stakes have never been higher."

"It's not that, Rey," he said, though her words had renewed his awareness of his very real pain and fatigue. "They've been injecting me with something - to weaken the Force."

She frowned at this but seemed undaunted. "That's alright - you're strong. And they'll be so surprised when they see me that we'll practically be able to walk to the hangar bay."

Ben rubbed his bruised brow gingerly with one hand. "And what will you do with your _actual body_ when we fly off into the sunset? Just leave it to rot?"

" _No,"_ she answered with feigned patience. "We'll get _you_ off the ship, and I'll return to my body until you're feeling well enough to come rescue me." Her serious little mouth flickered a smile at that last part.

His eyebrow raised involuntarily, and even _that_ hurt. Damn him. Damn her and her dreams and this whole plan.

"I'm assuming you told them while they were interrogating you that you held me captive and raped me or something," continued Rey.

"Yes," he confirmed. He'd told them he had messed with her mind, too, just for good measure.

"Good. There'll be no question of my insanity, then. All will be forgiven."

In all honesty, it wasn't a terrible plan. It could even work, maybe. And if they'd had nothing to lose, he might have jumped on her train of optimism and ridden it all the way to paradise. But to him, at least, they had everything to lose. To him, there were only two things in this universe more important than his own life, and they were both in this cell with him. He had realized back on the TIE that he would not risk them - not for anything.

And so, although it broke him a little to shut her down, he couldn't let her go on like this.

"The Resistance isn't what it used to be, Rey - you know that. Leia's dead; Chewie's gone. Hell, even your traitor friend and his tiny girlfriend took off."

She bristled. "Yes, I know."

"You don't fit in here anymore," he pressed on more forcefully. "Who do you think will protect you? Poe? Yeah, _that_ guy you sliced into at the hangar bay. Do you think he'll stick out his neck to protect you now? _No_." Ben shook his head for emphasis. It was crucial that she understood this. "No. ... The tide is shifting, Rey. It's a new era. Ordinary people don't believe in us anymore. The Sith and the Jedi are dead - the heroes and the villains are _dead!_ It's just us now - and what are we? We're something to be feared, Rey. And if they fear you - it doesn't matter what used to be - they will eliminate you just the same."

Rey's buoyant demeanor had been visibly sinking throughout this vehement speech. Eventually, she sank all the way down to the floor beside him again and didn't speak for a long time. Ben found it hard to look at her, like he was sitting next to someone he'd killed. When she finally did speak, her voice was flat and empty:

"So, you're not coming with me, then?"

"No. … I'm sorry."

"But I had a good plan," she whispered as a current of emotion began to breach her throat. God, this might kill him before the rebels did.

"Yes, you did," he soothed, though his own voice was beginning to crack. He reached out and pulled her close, breathing in her hair as she laid her cheek carefully against his chest. She smelled like the heat of a sun. He allowed himself to quietly meditate on that observation for a moment, refusing to allow the thought to creep in that he would never hold her like this again. There would be no urgency here - only quiet perfection that could outlive an eternity.

"Ben. … _W_ _hat will I do_?" Her simple question held utter despair. He felt the hot streaks of her pain run down his chest and prayed to whatever creator may be for strength to carry him through this night. The flood dams had been opened and there would be no more pretenses.

Ben sighed deeply and summoned his voice of authority while he stroked her hair.

"I'll tell you exactly what you'll do: tomorrow, you're going to attend. You're going to apologize for your little 'episode' yesterday, and you will _insist_ that you attend. And, when the time comes, you're going to stand there with everyone else and look avenged. You're not going to cry, or scream, or pull any of that nonsense you did in the hangar. You'll stand there and watch."

" _I can't_!"

Ben held her at arms length in front of him and gripped her like she would otherwise break apart. He looked into her eyes with an intensity he knew scared her a little, but he had to be sure of this plan if he was going to arrive at any semblance of peace. _Everything_ depended on this.

"You can, and you will!" He softened a bit as he realized she was shaking. "You will because you have to," he said. "For you, for me, and for him."

Those last words seemed to summon something within Rey. It was as if, suddenly, she understood. She bit her lip to stifle the tears and agonizingly rearranged her face into something resembling bravery. She was scared and determined and heartbreakingly beautiful. That was his Rey, his hero.

"Will you do it?" he asked her, as a master would call on his pupil to take on a new challenge.

"Yes," she said. "I will not fail you."

"Good." He brought her back to him and resumed stroking her hair, resolving to never let her go.

"When it's over, you'll lay low," he added. "No Force tricks, no meddling. Just a scared little Jedi mascot recovering from an ordeal. ... And for the love of God," he remembered, "don't let them know about any of your _unusual_ abilities!"

"And after that?"

"After that, you get away. When they let you out, go openly and quietly. ... Go to Ach To. Or Tatooine. It doesn't matter where. Just get away."

"Ok."

With all of that covered, he let out a deep breath. He had never known a more capable person than Rey. And although he would never fully comprehend the Force and its motivations, he was faithful that it would preserve her. It had brought them together, after all. With all that considered, it didn't make sense for her to die. Not now.

This thought provided him some comfort, and he allowed himself to succumb to his exhaustion. He laid his head back and let his mind drift through every sensation that was Rey, here in his arms. ...

"How do you know it's a 'him'?" she asked softly, unexpectedly.

"Hmm?"

She sat up and faced him. "Just a minute ago, you called it 'him'."

He returned her gaze and placed his hand back over her belly. There was a slight bulge there, so minute that only someone who knew what it was could detect it. But Ben knew every ridge and valley of her body most intimately from his fair-fortuned travels, and to him, it was entirely new feature. And beneath that entrancing swell of pearlescent flesh, there was a glow that was his son.

"Can't you feel it?" he asked her.

"Feel what?"

"Our son. … _Our son_ , Rey." It felt so strange to say it.

Her face grew radiant as she hung on his words. "What - what do you feel?"

His hand still flush to her belly, he closed his eyes. When he began to speak, he seemed far away: "I feel light. … darkness. Violence. … and peace. But most of all, there is balance. ... So much power, in perfect balance."

He opened his eyes and found her alight and full of wonder. She was so young. And she would forever remain young to him.

"He's perfect, Rey. He's going to be so much like you, and nothing like me. But he'll have all my power _and_ yours, and so much more. … He's going to change everything - I can feel it. End _all_ of this. ... He's going to do everything we couldn't."

He read her face like a book as it turned from teary-eyed joy to somber realization, and then she seemed to realize something else that made her eyes widen with bewilderment.

"I love you, Ben!" she cried out in strangled desperation.

"I know," he said. Though he would never understand why.

And with that, he took her - there on the cold, hard floor. And despite his protesting body and her protests that he shouldn't, he gave all that was left of himself to her, so that she had to bury her face into his neck to keep from crying out, until the very end, because he loved her. Against all odds, he loved her.

"I love you, too," he told her as they held each other on the floor. She smiled at the vibrating rumble of his voice and planted another kiss on his swollen lips. Then she laid her head back on his chest and wound a small hand through his fingers.

"Are you afraid?" she asked him.

"Yes," he said without hesitation. "But not for the reasons you think."

"I know."

"You do?"

"Yes. … Because I know you, Ben Solo." He couldn't help but smile at this, though she didn't see it.

"Well, then you must know that I will find a way back to you. … It doesn't matter if I die in the Dark or the Light, I _will_ come back to you if there's a way."

"I know."

He tried to conceal a shudder as he sighed, but it was no use. "And you must know that you have to go now."

"Yes," she barely whispered.

Raising himself up to kiss her forehead and hold it against his, feeling all of the things pass between them that he'd never thought he would be able to feel, he uttered the only prayer he knew: "May the Force be with you."

"And also with you," was her reply, silent tears running down to mingle with his. He brought her back to the floor, quite sincere in his conviction to never let her go.

She entwined a hand in his hair as she clung to him, as if it were the only comfort she had in the universe. He liked how safe and contained she felt in his arms and had the untimely realization that he also liked being alive.

"How will I get back?" she finally asked.

"Close your eyes."

She did.

After a moment, he said, "Think of the future. … Think of our son, and of old things dying. … Think of Ach To and the changing tides. … Think of all that will come and is meant to be. … And then you'll be gone."

* * *

 _Hi friends. This was a one-shot scene from my predictions of how Episode IX will play out, and I demand an award if I'm right. I'm a relatively new fan (the sequels brought me into the fold), so go easy on me. Let me know what you think, and if you **really** want a backstory summary, I might do it._

 _Also, if you're looking for some musical accompaniment while reading (who isn't?), might I suggest "Fade into You" by Mazzy Star. I get a lot of angsty alt-90's vibes from these sequel movies characters, which I can appreciate as an angsty alt-90's kind of gal. I mean was "Creep" written by Kylo Ren? Because his anti-establishment attitude, neediness, and low self-esteem is literally a Radiohead song. And Rey keeps leaving him "High and Dry"._

 _Thanks for reading and... may the Force be with you._


	2. Chapter 2

_Six months earlier. …_

It had been a week since the battle at Crait; a week without standing on solid ground. On a larger ship this would not be so bad, but the Falcon with its trademark bumps and rattles made forgetting you were barrelling through uncharted space in a rusty metal projectile impossible. It was quickly becoming unbearable for Rey. She had never been off-planet for so long, nor gone so long without being alone. A few short weeks ago, she would have killed to be in this exact scenario: far, far away from Jakku on a ship of her own, travelling with those she called her friends or even her family. But it seemed the habits developed over a lifetime of simple survival do not die easy, for she found herself hiding out in dark corners, leafing through the Jedi texts and sneaking tiny nibbles from the rations she'd squirreled away. And, despite the mustiness of all the bodies packed into the ship, the ceaseless static of nervous conversation and the reverent nods that greeted her at every turn, she had never felt more alone.

She knew she was lying to herself when she wondered why she felt this way, but she lied anyway. In her moments of weakness, when she couldn't distract herself with books or stupid exercises or games with Finn and Poe; when everyone else was sleeping, and she was left to deal with the throb in her chest, she remembered his senseless face: melancholy and young in the light of drifting embers - how she'd knelt beside him on the lacquered floor and brushed the dark locks from his forehead so she could kiss him there. It was gentle, so he would not wake; so that she would only be a whisper in his floating mind - one that would weave itself in and remain long after she was gone. …

 _Why had she done that?_ This, she truly did not know. He'd tried to kill her, after all - not long after she'd given him that kiss.

Then there was his face again: hurt, defeated, betrayed. She'd stared deep into eyes that were no longer pleading but still retained a singular question, and then she shut the door on him. Again. In that moment, it had felt right to end it. She had been infuriated - enraged at his viscous retaliation and high off the thrill of piloting the Falcon and using the Force to save her comrades. She didn't need him. She didn't need a teacher. She had her friends and the Jedi texts. As Leia would say, she had all she needed.

But now, after countless hours spent poring over densely-filled pages and head-splitting jargon, she had made no progress in the Jedi department. As for her friends, Finn was still Finn, but it wasn't like it was before. As she watched him linger for days over the comatose Rose, she realized for the first time how little she knew him - how brief their time together had been, no matter how impactful. And Leia? She was entirely occupied with trying to save their rebel asses, and there wasn't much Rey could do to aid her in those diplomatic quests. Their interactions were few and far between - nowhere near what Rey would have liked.

So she was left with this feeling. It was familiar, the one she hated most of all:

 _A memory of a memory. A mother and a father; promises made and tears shed. And then their absence and the sand whipping up to sting her eyes as a ship lifts off, watching it dissolve into the atmosphere under broiling heat. ... That first night spent alone and the shock of the cold setting in. That first mark scratched into scrap metal with trembling hands. … Another memory - this one more vivid: a trader with kind eyes. "A gift fit for a princess," he says as he pulls a shimmering orb from his bag. He holds it before her with two hands. "Coruscant," he says. Spiderwebs of golden light stretch around the tiny planet, and as she takes it delicately and holds it up to the sun, the lights dim to reveal a mosaic of geometry. When brought close to her eyes, she can see towers and arteries and the movements of life. It is the most beautiful thing she has ever seen. … She carries it with her everywhere. She knows the risk, but she wouldn't dare leave her treasure unattended, lest it be stolen. She is always wary of it there, wrapped in the folds of her scarf. But one day she slips, and she hears the shatter far below. When she slides down to its resting place, it is an opalescent dust. Beyond repair. …_

It had been a week since the Bond last connected them. Rey assumed that when she'd shut the door on the man she once knew as Ben Solo, she had quite literally done the same with the Bond. This understanding did not settle well with her as yet another restless day passed by on the Falcon, and her comrades fell silent in sleep.

Despite her best efforts to deceive herself, she felt as though she'd done something very bad. She felt dirty, almost, like she had stepped on a beautiful moth. _But it wasn't real_ , she told herself, again and again. _We were just mice in a trap. …_

But somehow, that thought twisted the knife deeper still. And it was because of this that she plunged even deeper into her book, filling her mind with a din of meaningless words to occupy the dark space inside of her.

She felt him before she saw him. When she looked up, he was sitting at a desk, engrossed in some kind of clerical work. He glanced back and forth from one data pad to another, typing entries with nimble fingers. He had dark circles under his eyes and his unwieldy hair was unkempt. Rey knew he felt her there, though he didn't make any moves to show it.

She waited, breathless. It felt like it had been an eternity since she last saw him, and there may as well have been an eternity between them. She understood this, so she just watched him. The hunched, dark mass of his form, conforming awkwardly to the confines of a chair; the crease in his brow, the slight movements of full lips.

 _He may be Supreme Leader, but an actor he is not,_ she thought as he visibly struggled to feign indifference. His eyes never wavered from his work and his demeanor was collected, but it was the jumping muscle in his jaw that gave him away. It amused Rey that she could read him so easily, though after several minutes of watching this, her intrigue gave way to frustration.

"So this is how it's going to be from now on?" she broke the silence.

Nothing. … Rey sighed audibly.

"You're going to ignore me? Like a child." There was a lightness in her tone - she wasn't trying to chastise him too much. He had every right to ignore her, given the circumstances. Though in all fairness, _she_ had the right to kill him, given the circumstances. So he could at least acknowledge her.

When he finally spoke, it was calm and controlled, but he couldn't keep the edge out of it: "You're up late." He did not look up or neglect the task before him.

Rey hadn't actually considered what she would say if he _did_ speak. "I - I'm reading."

"The Jedi texts?" he asked without hesitation.

"Yes - how did you know?"

"I'm Supreme Leader of the galaxy and the most powerful Force-wielder with formal Jedi training alive - did you think I would not _know_ if the sacred texts of the Order were stolen?"

Rey gulped, suddenly nervous. "No."

"Well, don't worry, I'm not _mad,"_ he said a bit mockingly. "You can keep them. ... They're the stuff of antiquity. Won't do you much good."

"Actually, I'm learning a lot," Rey lied. She was about as good at that as Kylo Ren was at acting. "I just started healing, actually."

"Even if those books were at all useful," he cut her off, "you can't learn how to wield the Force from a book. You need a teach -"

" _No_." Rey stood up was this one subject the cause of so much strife? She fought to keep her voice low so as not to wake the ship. "We _are not_ doing this again. I don't know how long we'll be stuck here in the Bond, but I won't hear anything else from you about being my teacher. _Is that understood?_ "

It shocked Rey in her trembling state as Kylo Ren finally raised his eyes to her. As he did, she was sorry to look at him, because those eyes were so very dark.

"I wasn't offering," he said flatly.

His dismissal stung her more than she could have expected, and for a moment she was at a loss for words.

"Fine," she nodded. "Good."

He said nothing more after that and returned to his work. Not knowing what to do or say, or how long this pleasant interaction would last, Rey sat back down and pretended to read the dusty old text that was before her. They remained that way, in uncomfortable silence, for many long minutes as Rey snuck glances in his direction and he did not reciprocate (as far as she could tell.) It was like being alone, almost, with the entire ship fast asleep - the only sign of their presence the occasional snore or groan.

After a while, she forgot herself and that he knew she was there, and she just stared at him: the formidable Kylo Ren bent over his clerical duties. It was a sight that warmed her, strangely enough. She had never seen him this way, so quiet and still. And the longer she watched him, the harder it became to remember why she had ever been afraid of him. What was this man capable of? she asked herself again. The question had consumed her over the past week. In either direction - dark or light - _how far could he go?_

Rey realized then that perhaps the Bond was waiting for her to ask - that perhaps it was sentient and merciful, and it knew that she could never truly rest if she did not know. And so, in a leap of faith, she asked it:

"Did you know that I was flying the Falcon?" Her own voice startled her.

As the dark knight raised his black eyes to meet her own, she quickly remembered why she had been afraid of him.

"What?" he asked softly.

"Did you know?" she repeated, gathering her courage. "Did you know I was flying the Millennium Falcon at Crait?"

He stared at her. Rey saw something pass through his eyes, but she didn't know what it was. She could not read him now.

"No," he finally answered. It was a definitive 'no'. Simple yet firm.

Rey realized she had been holding her breath and released it in a long sigh. Emboldened, she asked another question: "Are you hunting us now? Is that what you're working on?"

"No."

Rey found that very hard to believe. "So you're not chasing us?" Surely, he had something up his sleeve.

"No," he repeated dismissively. "I know you think ruling the galaxy is all war and rape and pillaging, but in reality it's a lot of paperwork. I have more _important_ things to do than chase you and your friends through deep space."

"So you're just going to _let us go?_ "

"Are you disappointed?" he asked with a ghost of a smirk on his pallid face. "I'm sorry to break it to you, but you and your - _cause -_ are now irrelevant. It's over. You should find a planet to land on before you run out of rations. Or, on second thought, maybe you should just keep going." He shrugged wickedly. "Bottom line: I don't care what you do, as long as you stay out of my way."

"That isn't true," retorted Rey, finding herself unable to sit. She rose to her feet once more to level with him. "It's not over. Leia will bring us back. You know she will."

"Maybe," he shrugged again. "I know she won't give up. She's never known life without war. ... I, for one, would like to."

"Like to what?"

"Know a life without war." He delivered those last words sagely, as if he were addressing a six-year-old student, then returned to his datapads.

Rey studied him for a moment, growing increasingly annoyed. He could hate her all he wanted, but she would not allow him to treat her like a fool.

"No. ... No, that isn't it." She shook her head. " _Kylo Ren_ is not a _pacifist,"_ she scoffed, taking a step toward him and growing taller over his seated form. "Kylo Ren _thrives_ in battle. A lifetime of _this_ ," she gestured at his desk and his datapads, " _this_ would kill you. …. No. That _definitely_ is not it."

"It isn't?" His eyebrows raised in mock interest. "What is it then?"

She took another step, now looking down at him slightly, which gave her confidence. "You won't chase us anymore because you know you can't kill us."

He didn't appear to have a response ready for _that_ statement, though she didn't wait for it. "You've tried, many times, to kill me - and your mother. And each time you've failed." Kylo Ren's visage remained stony, but his jaw had begun working overtime. She pressed on: "I can't believe that it was a lack of prowess or know-how on your part. … No. You _can't_ kill us, and you've finally realized it."

Her words settled over them like drifting snow, and the usually close cabin of the ship grew icy cold. Had she overstepped herself this time? she wondered. He wasn't saying anything, and he was looking very dangerous indeed. Suddenly, he was a man, barely hanging on.

Abandoning his previous task altogether with the abrupt flinging of both datapads, he balled his broad hands into fists and fixed his eyes on the desk. Rey found herself standing very still. She would not provoke him any further.

"What do you want from me, Rey?" His voice was unnervingly low and strangled through clenched teeth. "You want me to say it?"

Without warning, he stood up to tower over her, piercing her with his deadly stare. Any guile she had was now gone.

"After _all this,"_ he waved his arms at everything around them and in between them. "After all of this, you want me to _say it?_ "

At this close distance, with the heat of his breath almost palpable on her face, Rey could take him in fully. He looked exhausted. He looked resigned yet still slightly crazed, the scar she gave him stark against ashen skin. And he looked distinctly tortured - more so than usual. He was a puppy that had been kicked too many times.

"Do you?!"

" _No_ ," she whispered.

"Good."

He sat back down, still shaking with whatever emotions were raging through his system. He struggled to regain his composure as he bent down to pick up the datapads and placed them on the desk. "Just stay out of my way," he warned with a tinge of finality. "And stop reading those books. They'll only make things worse."

And with that, he was gone as if he had never been there at all. Rey breathed a sigh of relief. It took her a moment to gather her thoughts. She wasn't sure what had just happened - there was so much swirling around inside her. Laying her head back against the wall, she closed her eyes and allowed the vibrations of the Falcon to lull her into a quieter state.

No, she still wasn't sure what had happened between them. But as she went over in her mind the truths that he had revealed to her, she arrived at a startling conclusion: Ben Solo was not dead. Kylo Ren was now Supreme Leader, but it was Ben Solo who could not kill her, and it was Ben Solo who could not tell her why.

 _So I know I meant for this to just be a one and done, but these two are too much fun. So I might do more with this, we'll see … Let me know what you think!_


End file.
